The Unwelcome Guest seems to have been taking up far too much of our time and attention recently what with hospital visits and appointments for this and pills and injections for that. Much as you\u2019d like to, you can\u2019t avoid it, though cancer\u2019s not a subject you\u2019d ever chose to become an expert on. But I know for many people it\u2019s difficult to broach \u2013 is it rude to talk about it, or ruder to pretend it isn\u2019t there? \u2018I wanted to ask, but I didn\u2019t like to,\u2019 people say, and I guess you can\u2019t blame them for feeling awkward.
\n Well, I suppose everyone\u2019s different \u2013 some people don\u2019t mind talking, some people just want to go away into a hole. But I think that most want to stay attached to reality during the process of treatment and that means being quite happy to talk. I don\u2019t need anyone to put on one of those special serious voices: \u2018Do tell me, my dear, how are you?\u2019 I don\u2019t want people to give me advice on what medication I should or shouldn\u2019t be taking, or which alternate treatment will make me feel so much better. But there are all sorts of light neutral questions that you can use to broach the subject; How\u2019s the chemo going? How much longer will it go on for? Have you got a nice consultant? What\u2019s the worst thing about the treatment? What are you looking forward to doing most when it\u2019s all over? How do you pass your time? If someone doesn\u2019t want to talk, you\u2019ll soon get the hint and change the subject. Otherwise, it\u2019s just a very big elephant in the room.
\n People will tell you you\u2019re \u2018brave\u2019 and that you\u2019re \u2018fighting\u2019 cancer. But you have the treatment, and it\u2019s probably better for everyone around if you can be upbeat about it, but bravery is something different and special, and doesn\u2019t really come into it. Likewise there\u2019s no \u2018fight\u2019 involved. It\u2019s a fairly passive process. You have the treatment, and wait for the results. If they\u2019re good you\u2019re pleased, if they aren\u2019t, you\u2019re despondent, but \u2018fighting\u2019 involves something a bit more proactive. People talk of \u2018winning\u2019 or losing\u2019 the fight against cancer, but really you just take what you\u2019re given. Of course, if eating organic vegetables, or having alternate medicines, or praying, makes you feel a bit better, or more in control, that\u2019s fine, but it\u2019s the poisons coursing through your body that are actually doing the business.
\n I guess the worst thing is the boredom of not being yourself during the treatment. In my case I have a bad back, so I\u2019m hobbling around weakly everywhere. Your brain sort of works \u2013 just enough to remind you that you still have one \u2013 but concentrated effort is a bit beyond you. But, I\u2019m looking forward to a bit of normal life again \u2013 believe me, I shan\u2019t take it for granted. At any rate, I might not be brave and I might not be fighting, but I\u2019ll try to keep the door shut on the Unwelcome Guest for just as long as I possibly can. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Unwelcome Guest seems to have been taking up far too much of our time and attention recently what with hospital visits and appointments for this and pills and injections for that. Much as you\u2019d like to, you can\u2019t avoid it, though cancer\u2019s not a subject you\u2019d ever chose to become an expert on. But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-62","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=62"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":216,"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62\/revisions\/216"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=62"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=62"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/francesthomas.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=62"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}